Take My Voice
by Laina Inverse
Summary: Sheila Shepard has been mute since Akuze. With her physical reconstruction done by Cerberus, she regained what she lost, but she doesn't want it. Perhaps a conversation with Mordin will resolve the issue. ME2 Earthborn/Sole Survivor


Sheila Shepard lingered in the briefing room after telling off the Illusive Man—or Tim, as Joker liked to call him—her level of discomfort and irritation high. Just because she owed Cerberus for bringing her back to life didn't mean she enjoyed taking orders from him, or collecting the people he wanted her to collect. Some, like Mordin and Grunt, she grudgingly admitted to respecting. Garrus had been a welcome surprise. But Jack, and the two Cerberus agents she'd been 'given' she could have done without.

Reflexively, she rubbed her throat, where the scars from the thresher maw attack should have been. She didn't like being able to speak. Didn't like being _made_ to speak. It was still more reflexive to use either her omni-tool, or sign language for communication. Miranda understood her signing, as did Chambers. Joker, naturally, was used to her using her omni-tool for speaking, and had made the crack that her low, husky voice sounded like she'd been smoking and quit. If he didn't have the dubious honor of being both part of her former crew, and someone she considered to be a friend, she probably would have smacked him.

After a moment, she left her hand drop, and sighed. Azure, the large feline granted to her by Anderson so many years before, rubbed her head against her mistress's hand. The motion brought a faint, rare smile to the woman who was feeling the stresses of the mission, as well as the stresses of _having_ to talk to the people.

She tucked short, chocolate-brown hair out of dark blue eyes, her smile fading back into the stoicism she showed the rest of the crew. A idea had slowly formed in her mind from the minute she had learned that Mordin Solus, the salarian scientist, was also a doctor. She couldn't ask this favor of Chakwas, because the doctor wouldn't understand why, even after sharing the bottle of brandy.

She tapped Azure lightly on the feline's shoulder, and the giant Siamese looked up. A flick of a gesture was all it took for the cat to understand where her mistress was going, and she yawned showing a clear disinterest in visiting the labs of the salarian. As Sheila turned right, Azure went left. The feline would wait near the galaxy map, Sheila knew, until the human was once again available.

Mordin was hard at work when the commander entered the lab. That was no surprise, most of the crew looked to be hard at work whenever she entered a place. With Mordin, however, it was mostly genuine. She leaned against the table in front of him, just watching silently until he came to a break in his work, and acknowledge her presence.

"Shepard. Need me for something?"

_I have an odd request to put to you_, Sheila signed. Mordin, like Miranda, seemed to be quite fluent in human sign-language.

"Odd? How so?"

_I want you to take my voice from me again._

Mordin regarded he human in front of him thoughtfully. Sheila had neither condemned, nor approved of his work with the genophage, but he had a feeling that she understood the necessity of it. To many, the marine female came off as uncaring because she made choices that often seemed at odds with what another person might have done, the person that they _thought_ was the Hero of the Citadel.

"If I may make an observation, Shepard?"

She waved a hand, a gesture he took to mean she would let him speak freely. He left off at the computer terminal, resting his hands on the table itself.

"You use your lack of voice as a barrier do you not?"

Sheila started in surprise, not having expected such and astute observation. Mordin nodded as the reaction confirmed his thoughts.

"If people do not expect you to speak they do not expect you to explain yourself, and therefore you neatly sidestep many difficulties attached to your post. You do 'speak,' but not in the traditional ways, and that often allows you to block attempts at genuine communication. Just a theory, mind you, have noted concerns from Kelly, comments from Miranda, knowledge from Garrus…"

Sheila held up a hand to stem the flow of words, her eyes reflecting exasperation.

_I know what they say, Solus. _Her use of his clan-name confirmed her annoyance. _I don't care. I don't like to speak, and I want my voice gone._

"Asked Chakwas?"

_She wouldn't understand. And she would refuse. I will not order it, this is a request. It may be a selfish request, but I do not feel comfortable speaking. I never will._

"If I am to do his, I would request something in return. Nothing big, but… Have noticed your omni-tool voice is not based upon your own. Could change that. Speaking without speaking, yes?"

Despite herself, Sheila felt her lips quirk upward. The scientist had heard her speak only one or twice, once when trying to recruit Okeer, when she had told the merc to remove his friends, then again at Horizon, when Kaidan had infuriated her enough to speak in reprimand. It had shocked the Staff Commander to hear his former commander's real voice for the first time, but it hadn't swayed him.

_I'll think about it._

"As shall I, Shepard. Is that all?"

She nodded, straightened, and turned to go.

"Shepard."

Sheila stopped, half turned.

"Perhaps presumptuous of me, but think your voice would be good for singing. Would like to hear that at some point."

Surprise crossed her face, then she turned and walked out of the lab. Mordin returned to his work, shaking his head lightly.

"Kirahee rubbed off if making speech like that," he muttered to himself.

While he returned most of his attention to his work, a small part mulled over the request Shepard had put to him. He had to admit that Sheila was fascinating for a human. Not that he was interested, nor, if he surmised her body-language correctly, was she. But the commander had the ability to fascinate, even without speaking. Maybe that was why she wanted her voice gone… to prove that it wasn't fancy words, or speeches that attracted people to her cause.

No that made no sense. Sheila knew she could attract people that way. Grunt had made her speak only because she needed both hands for other things—a clever maneuver, that one—but the Krogan had been duly impressed on the way she had handled the retrieval of Jack with only stares at the other biotic, and the occasional nod.

Perhaps the simple truth was what she had signed. She had gone so long without speaking that now speech was unnatural for her. There was truth in the fact that it _was_ a wall for her, but that was no surprise. Sheila had many walls, and only a few were breechable. Her old crew, for example, already had their places behind some of those walls. And he could tell that she held him in regard for his willingness to get things done, both peacefully and forcefully if necessary.

In fact the only beings she allowed through most of her barriers seemed to be Ambassador Anderson, and the large feline, Azure. But he was getting off track. Should he, or should he not remove Shepard's voice? He knew it would annoy Miranda, but Miranda had been the one to return it in the first place, _and_ had insisted that Sheila speak. Garrus was used to his commander not speaking, but as far as the rest were considered, Shepard was still too new to them and speaking made little difference one way or the other. Plus, she rarely spoke as it was.

Mordin nodded thoughtfully. He would comply with Shepard's request, whether she brought him a recording of her voice or not. It was, after all, her choice.

The next 'morning' Mordin found two small omni-tool data chips waiting for him on his computer's keyboard. Intrigued, he picked them up and placed the into his omni-tool. Voice recordings, two separate files. He played the first one, and it was Sheila reading aloud to… likely Azure. He pulled that one out, and set about synthesizing the voice for the commander's personal use in her omni-tool.

The second one took a few minutes, and was prefaced by what sounded to be a human piano. But when the voice came in, it was Sheila singing. It was an old human song, he didn't know it personally, but a few quick touches to the computer accessing the extranet found him a variety of files on the song. A lullaby, known as simply, 'Baby Mine.'

It suited her voice, and the scientist knew that this was probably going to be the only recording of something like this she would make. She had complied with his oblique request, and it would be one of the items he would hold in high regard.

When she came in several hours later, looking as she always did, Mordin nodded to her, gave her the data-file that contained her speaking voice, and complied with her request. He could see a small piece of tension slide from her shoulders once the job was done, and knew that he had breeched another level of her protection.

The commander stood slowly after the operation was done, then looked at the scientist, nodding carefully her thanks and appreciation. In her eyes, he had risen from the place of slightly trusted crew member to possible confident and almost-friend.

Then she turned, and went about her day. Tali was next on her list of people to collect, and Sheila wanted nothing more than to have the quarian back on her ship where she belonged.


End file.
